hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
