i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
