SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize