Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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