She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
