I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
