No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
