what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
