I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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