Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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