i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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