Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
