well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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