i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
