What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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