Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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