ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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