My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
