I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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