You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
