Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
