after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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