so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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