Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
