i need an iv and a liver transplant
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
