In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
