He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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