I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
