The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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