Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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