Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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