Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You were trust falling into bushes
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
