So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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