I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize