i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
