how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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