Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
i've created a new STD.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize