I want to have your abortion
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
