Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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