The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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