Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize