oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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