they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The air taste purple.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
