Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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