I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
