The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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