Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
