Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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