dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
