How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
