i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
