Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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