i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
