I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
vagina is talking i cant
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Randomize
