is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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