wrigley field is MILF paradise
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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