ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
