He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
my liver is dry heaving
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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