i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Boobs speak an international language.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize