Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
