The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
