He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Found the puke drawer
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
