Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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